The Utter Truth
by Lawliet Jeevas-Keehl
Summary: When the cast of Death Note go to a Los Angles Anime convention, they meet Tiger, Iris and Drew, a trio of cosplayers dragged into a whole world of character they never knew were real...  Quite crackish. A/U. Charcaters from PASWGB and Soul Eater. R&R!
1. Of jam and boredom

****_**The Utter Truth.**_

_**Genre:**_Humour. Just humour.

_**Rating:**_Teen. (T)

_**Anime characters involved:**_Eighteen.

**From Death Note; **

Beyond Birthday (B),  
Mail Jeevas (Matt),

Miheal Keehl (Mello),

Nate River (Near),

L Lawliet (L),

Alternative (A),

Light Yagami (Kira!),

Taota Matsuda (Matsuda).

**From Ouran High school host club;**

Tamaki Suoh,

Mitsukuni Haninozuka (Honey),

Kyoya Otori,

Takashi Morizawa (Mori),

Kaoru Hitachiin,

Hikaru Hitachiin.

**From Soul Eater;**

Death The Kid,

Chrona Gorgon.

**From Panty and Stocking with Graterbelt;**

Breif.

Wow...That's a whole lot of characters... I forgt how many people lived in the warehouse...

_**Warnings: **_Contains sever swearing on account of Mello and others, implied Matt x Mello yaoi, small amounts of twincest (only at little more than is acctually in OHSHC), fangirl-ness, extreme weirdness, severe crack, OOCness, many, many different Anime characters and British jargon. Ha. Like to see you Americans decipher that. Also, it'll be rather long.

_**Disclaimer: **_I do not own Death Note, Ouran High School host club, Soul Eater, Panty and Stocking with Garterbelt, any of the spin off books or any brands mentined in the fic.

**This fic was thought up when chat-roleplaying with my friend Tiger on another site. We are always chat-roleplaying with Anime characters, adding to the list as we dicover more. Thus this fic was born... Hope you guys like it. Reviews make me and Tiger smile.  
For all you Mighty Boosh fans, I snuck a couple of Boosh references into later chapter. Tell me if you spot them.  
This is written purely for the purposes of humour, do not take any off it seriously. The characters are supposed to be annoyingly OOC.  
Also, B is slightly less mad than he is portrayed in LABB as A is not dead. :P**

**Oh and me and Tiger are ****NOT**** OC's we are really people and this is how we really act. And even though Tiger cosplays Matt in real life, I thought it would be better to have us cosplaying both M's instead of just the one. If we seem Mary Sue-ish, then that's how you'll see us in real life.**

Beyond Birthday was bored. And, if you know B, you'd know that bad things tend to happen when he has nothing to occupy himself with.  
He, Matt, Mello, Near, Light, L and Matsuda were lounging around in the wearhouse, sluggishly tossing paper balls into a makeshift basket ball hoop and looking awfully listless, waiting for their other flat mates to return from their three day long road trip. Matsuda sighed loudly only to receive a paper ball in the head from an irritated Mello.  
"Ow! That hurt Mello!" He whined, rubbing his head.

"Oh, take it like a man you pussy." Mello retorted, throwing another ball at the young police officer.

"Would you guys shut up? I'm trying to play Mario Kart here!" Matt interrupted, glaring at both the offending people. Mello muttered something about Matt's sexuality under his breath and Matsuda gave a dejected snivel, crawling over to a quite corner for a good long sulk. Light pinched the bridge of his nose, wondering why exactly why he hung out with the idiots. Near looked up briefly then quickly returned to his Lego whilst L sucked absent mindedly on a cherry flavoured lollipop. B chuckled softly, getting to his feet, padding towards the kitchen at the back of the building to retrieve some of his beloved jam. As he opened the fridge he noticed a small leaflet stuck to the door, the paper read:

_Los Angles Monthly Anime Convention.  
Monday 28th June._

_11:00am - 5:30pm.  
Meet all your __favourite__ Anime stars! Ash and Misty from Pokemon, Sasuke from Naruto, Yugio from Yugio GX!_

_Located at the North-West avenue mall.  
Tickets $5.00._

_Autographs available._

B grinned, pulling the paper from the fridge door, folding it neatly into a small square and placing it in his pocket before opening the fridge and grabbing a jar of strawberry jam from it's depths.  
Upon returning to the the other room, B was met with the sight of Mello holding Light against the wall by his throat.  
"You fucking call me a girl! Do you have a bloody death wish!" Mello screamed at the caramel haired teen "Then you punch _my_ Matty? You must be fucking suicidal because I am pretty damn close to to fulfilling your morbid fantasy... You got that _buddy_? DO. NOT. MESS. WITH. ME."  
Light nodded his head vigorously, looking like he was going to faint..  
"Good. Now we understand each other." Replied Mello, dropping Light to the ground with a smirk.  
"Faggot." Light replied quietly, clearly hoping for Mello not to hear. He wasn't in luck.  
"_What_ did you just call me...?" Mello whispered, his voice brimming with anger. Slowly he turned to face Light, who backed away slightly "Because, if you called me what I think you called me I will use the gun in my belt to blow your brains out all over the wall." Mello's left hand was resting on the forementioned gun and Light's brown eyes went wide with terror, while 'Matty' was rubbing his slightly reddened cheek.

B just watched in amused silence as Near and L seemed to be having an extremely engrossing game of chess while Matsuda cowered in a corner. Finally B spoke up.

"You could kill Light, it is a very good idea, or we could do something less boring...Either that or you let me help kill him." B mused, studying his severely chewed nails.

"You stay the fuck out of this head case!" Mello spat, glaring at B.

"Temper, temper Mihael." B replied calmly, with a slight smirk. Mello, deciding to ignore him, pulled the gun out and cocked it at Light's head.

L glanced up and got to his feet to stand beside his doppelgänger.  
"Beyond is correct, your incessant quarrelling is becoming quite tiresome." L said in his normal monotone voice.

"Shut. The. Fuck. Up." Mello hissed, taking a step closer to Light who was cowering on the floor like the child he is.

"Mihael... please refrain from using profanities." L replied sternly, staring Mello down "I will kick you..."  
"Shut up you queer!" Spat Mello, directing his attention away from the quivering Light.

B was finding this all very uninteresting, so, without really thinking it through, he grabbed a handful of jam and threw it straight at the back of Mello's head. It hit home with a resounding squelch.

Slowly, the ex-mafia boss reached a pale hand to the back of his head, his fingers sinking into the jam, pushing it further into his once pristine hair.

"Who. The hell. Threw that?" He asked, enough venom in his voice to kill small animals. B quickly threw the jar at Matsuda, who, unfortunately for him, caught it.

"It was Matsuda, I belive." Said B, with a Cheshire cat like grin.

Mello, angry enough to belive anything, turned to to quivering detective, who was still cowering in the corner, and saw the jar of jam in his hands. To say Mello's face went purple, would be an under statement.

"M-Mello... Please be r-rational!" Squeaked Matsuda, looking very much like he was going to wet himself.

"You got jam in my fucking hair!" Mello exploded, his free hand balling into a fist while he pointed his gun at Matsuda's temple with the other.

"P-p-please, Mello! Please!" Matsuda squealed, covering his head with his hands and sinking closer to the floor, snot running down his face from crying.

"Ugh, your snivelling makes me sick. You're pathetic." Mello said, disgusted, walking away from the crying man, gun safely back in it's holster.

"Well, now that's over, we can go do something fun..." Said B with a smirk, licking jam from his slender fingers.

"Yeah" Matt piped up, suddenly enthusiastic, putting his DS back in his pocket "Lets go have a good time!"

Mello raised an eyebrow but shrugged all the same "Let me take a shower and wash this shit out of my hair first..." He growled stomping off towards the bathroom.

"He seems to be in a bit of a _jam_!" B commented tastelessly, laughing loudly at his own joke, a wide grin splitting his pale face.

"That was not kind of you, Beyond." L stared at his twin "Miheal is not at all happy..."

"Well no shit Sherlock..."

"I am a already great detective Beyond, referring to me as 'Sherlock' is not in the least insulting."

"It's called sarcasm..." B rolled his crimson eyes at the world's greatest detective, or should that be detectives, as he is all three "If you weren't living in your own head you might just understand it..."

"I have a perfect sense of reality Beyond-kun"

"Oh yeah, riiiiight... You keep on believing that..." B smirked, staring L in the face "Anyway, I have an idea of something we can all do today... And no it's not some sick twisted, sadistic, kinky, bondage party like last time. Though that was a laugh... Heh..."

"Well, what is it then?" Matt inquired, looking confused.

"An Anime convention..." B grinned, surveying the shocked faces of his friends.

"An... Anime convention?" Questioned Matt, wondering what was wrong with B and weather he actually took his pills today.

"Well why not? Anime is cool... And you never know but there might be some interesting people there..." B smirked.

"I just never had you pinned as the type who would _like_ Anime..."

"Well... I do..." Said B, feeling slightly offended.

"I belive this is a good idea... They may have some limited edition action figures..." Near added in a deadpan voice.

"Well, I'm all for it..." Said Mello, returning from his shower in only a towel, his hair still dripping wet. Matt looked at Mello with an audible gulp, his eyes lingering on the flat plains of his best friend's stomach.

"Like what you see Matty?" Mello asked, gesturing to himself with a smirk.

"Uh... No w-way!" Matt stammered a little to quickly, turning away, his cheeks dusted in a faint pink blush.

"Whatever you say Matty, whatever you say..." Mello winked at the gamer before returning to his bedroom.

"I am also in agreement with Beyond-kun's idea." Said L, cutting through the awkward silence. There was an loud sigh or relief from Matt's direction.

"I'm cool with that." Light chipped in, getting up from the floor and dusting himself off.

"I-it's okay with me..." Added Matsuda, clearly still shaken "As long as I don't have to sit next to Mello in the VW..."

-

**Yay! First chapter up, with an severly long Author's note. This is un-Beta'd as my pending Beta has yet to get back to me. I've written much of the rest and let me tell you, it get more crackish by the minute. I'll probably have another chappie up by Thrusday, give you reviewer a bit of scope. :L**

Good day/night/afternoon/evening to you all!

**~ Lawli.**


	2. VW's, Fangirls and Pokemon

**Aw, what the heck, I'll give you guys another update tonight. 'Cause I love you.  
Enjoy!**

Soon all seven had piled into Matt's black VW camper, the largest car in their garage, with Matsuda, unfortunately ending up next to Mello. It had a bed, T.V, several games consoles with games and other techy stuff built into the back. B sat up front with L and Matt, he being the only one with directions and L just being the sensible one.

Matt started the engine and pushed a CD into the player, soon Daft Punk was blaring through the speakers, making Light complain loudly about how he was going deaf because of the racket. This earned him a smack round the head from a very pissed off Mello. He did not appreciate sitting with his arch rival, a snivelling wuss and a finicky pretty boy and decided he was not going to like the convention either.

However, his torment was short lived as within half an hour the VW was parked in the North-West avenue mall parking lot.

"Finally." Light said in exasperation, stretching his supposedly tight muscles "I thought I was going to die in there!"

"We were in the car for half an hour..." Matsuda stated, giving Light an odd look.

"Well, I'm very sensitive!" Light yelled, stamping his foot like a five year old girl.

"Aww, diddums... did you break a nail?" Mello taunted, faking a lisp in mock concern.

"Shut up! I hate you all!" Light yelled, turning on his heel and attempting to run into the mall, instead running head first into a lamp post.

Matt and Mello just about collapsed with laughter. Matsuda actually did collapse from laughing so hard.

"You're just over doing it now Matsu..." Matt shook his head at the young detective sprawled on the ground then looked over at Light who was crying and attempting to staunch the flow of blood from his nose "Or maybe not. That is hilarious."

Even B began to laugh at Light's girlish squeals at the sight of his own blood.

"Why does Light-kun's pain amuse you?" Near asked, cocking his head to one side.

"It's called slapstick Sheepy." B countered, ruffling the albino's hair and coming out with a hand full of Lego.

"So _that's _where he keeps them... I always thought he ate them for some reason." Mello mused, giving the boy a questioning look.

"I am simply keeping them there for want of not losing them."

"How do you wash your hair then?"

"I simply remove the Lego and place it in it's jar."

"It does kinda make sense Mels..." Matt added, looking slightly fearful of Mello, who luckily was now in a better mood than he had been in the van.

"Meh. Different strokes for different folks." He said with a shrug, making his way towards the mall.

Light, who was now lying on the floor clutching his nose received a sharp kick in the ribs from Mello.

"Get off your ass Light, we're going to a Anime convention and you are coming too..." Light began to protest but Mello cut him off "No, we can't leave you in the car, you'll probably paint it beige."

Light went oddly silent.

L chimed in "Are we not supposed to be attending this convention?"

"Yeah, we'd better get in there before Mels kills Light." Matt said, addressing the remainder of the group. B grinned at his fellows, making Matsuda back away rapidly with a frightened squeak. B's grin widened.

Slowly, the party made their way into the cool interior of the mall, Light hanging back, a wad of tissue pressed to his nose though the flow of blood has long since stopped.

A huge banner announcing that there was an Anime convention, which could clearly be seen from the various different Anime stalls. People in colourful costumes were milling around, chatting about their favourite episodes and characters. Matt grinned, and, being a huge Pokemon fan, rushed over to the nearest Pokemon stall.

"Ehmaigahd! They have the limited edition shiny Ratata action figure! I must have it! How much!" He demanded at the bemused stall owner, hugging the figurine to his chest with wide eyes, pupils dilated. 

"F-forty dollars?" The rather terrified man stammered. Matt fished around in his pockets for a while before coming up with three dimes, a mint humbug and a button.

"Will this do?" He asked, thrusting his hands towards the now quite baffled man.

"No sir. That, I think you will find is a button and that is a mint humbug. The only money there is three dimes."

"Oh, I was meant to be saving the mint humbug for later..." Matt replied, looking crest fallen as he popped the sweet back into his pocket.

Mello sighed and mentally face-palmbed himself for what he was about to do.

"You said forty dollars, right?"

"Yes. Forty dollars."

Mello nodded, pulling out his wallet and grabbing a couple of notes from it.

"Keep the change." He muttered, throwing the money at the stall owner and handing the figurine to a delighted Matt, who promptly pulled Mello in to what can only be described as a glomp.

"You're the absolute best Mels!" He squealed, nuzzling Mello's neck.

"Get off me you great pillock!" He shoved Matt to the floor, blushing a little. The gamer appeared to bounce straight back up, grinning like a mad man as he began skipping off to the next stall.

_'He may be a berk but he's my berk and that's all that's important.'_ Mello thought to himself with a smirk.

Light browsed the various stalls with L and Near, looking like a kid in a maths lesson. Well, a normal kid in a maths lesson, Light would have been happy to be adding up and subtracting while a teacher, who clearly had a red hot poker rammed up his arse lectured him on long division, being such a gay nerd and all. He had just examined a small Naruto figurine and was setting it back down when, suddenly, his eye was caught by a rather large stall with a plush toy of him resting casually against the canvas wall, looking like it was the most normal thing in the world. Light tripped over thin air in apparent shock.  
"Oh god. W-what the hell is going on?" He wondered out loud, sitting up.

"What is the matter Light-kun?" The detective inquired, hi head cocked to one side, as Light got to his feet and brushed himself off.

"It's a fucking plush toy of me you retard! I'm not in an ani..." He trailed off, noticing the small black book his stuffed counter part was holding.  
"What is plush Light-kun holding?" Near interjected, twirling his hair through his fingers.

"Er, nothing!"

"The speed at which you made that statement implies that it is something of interest. 48%."  
"No it's... a magazine. Yeah. That's right..." Light's eyes flickered from side to side nervously.

"52%." L stated, glancing at the stall, seeing a bag with his own face printed on it and the letter L in the Gothic font he used for 'public appearances' hovering next to his picture.

"What is the meaning of this Light-kun? Is this some elaborate joke?" He crossed his arms, glaring uncharacteristicly at the offending teen.

"I don't know! I'm just as confused as you are, you hunchbacked freak!" Light shrieked, clenching his fists while still attempting to conceal the note book.

Near, becoming curious, began to browse the stall too. He carefully examined a small key-ring with a plastic model of himself dangling from it, twirling his pale hair around an equally pale finger all the while.

"This is most baffling..." He stated in his usual monotone.

B grinned, watching from a balcony-type area on the second floor of the mall, leaning casually against the hard metal railings as Light began to beat L with a Misa plushy. He had been rather clever choosing where they went and playing to the others reactions. He had been plotting this all along, just for some laughs. First, he had had to split the group in to three, Matt and Mello going off in one direction, L, Light and Near going in another and He and Matsuda going upstairs. Matsuda had been a slight problem for B, but he soon dealt with the bumbling idiot by locking him in a toilet.

Now it was all coming together and B was feeling a rather large amount of self satisfaction. He had always been aware of the manga, Death Note, even if the others hadn't, and the rather popular Anime. He had read the books and watched the box set, making careful observations, taking notes when needed and, after over coming his slight sense of outrage at the fact he wasn't in it, he had come to rather like the series. He read the two spin off books as well, particularly enjoying the retelling of his antics in L.A, though he never set fire to himself, as it was, in fact, a double who B had set alight. The guy had been perfectly willing, dying of leukemia at sixteen and B was more than happy to help him out.

He smirked, remembering the young man.

"Nice outfit. Did you make it yourself?"

B jumped about a foot in the air. He was so absorbed in his own warped mind he hadn't seen the girl come up behind him and settle on the railing next to him. She was about medium height, good figure, brown eyes and crimson red hair, cut choppily so it only reached her chin. Her face was oval shaped, matching her frame yet looking slightly out of place on her neck, several freckles dotted her forehead and the bridge of her nose, giving her a friendly appearance, though her smile was that of a woman plotting to kill some one or rob a bank. There was no doubt she was pretty, her slightly tan skin complementing her eyes quite nicely. She wore a small amount of eyeliner, smudged across her top lids, though she had obviously not used mascara and her legs were long, clearly toned under her jeans. 

Other than her smile she looked relatively normal. With the exception of her outfit.

She wore chunky, black Gothic boots, coupled with plain, slightly tatty skinny jeans and a long sleeved striped jumper. Atop this she had a caramel coloured and rather fuzzy body warmer, a pair of goggles resting snugly on her head like a headband and black leather gloves that reached her elbows.

Clearly, she was cosplaying Matt.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you." She smirked.

"No worries. I was off in my own world. And yes, I compiled this particular outfit."  
"It's very good. Especially the contacts, they look really real."  
"That's because they aren't contacts."  
"Woah! That's so cool!" She exclaimed, grinning madly "Can I get a closer look?" She leaned in without invitation, squinting at B's crimson eyes.

B looked slightly confused, tilting his head to the right "You're not afraid?"  
"Why would I be afraid? It's so unique to have red eyes, they match my hair." She smiled widely.

"Lets just say I've had a few adverse reactions to my 'unique' eyes..." B grimaced, not liking to remember what had happened to him a s a child.

"I can't say I'm surprised, people are so intolerant these days..." The girl shook her head, she to having had her share of prejudice thrown at her during her life, though this was unknown to B. She looked up suddenly, grin reappearing "I'm sorry, I don't belive I introduced myself. I'm Iris. Or Matt if you'd prefer." She chuckled.  
"I'm Beyond. Call me B."  
"No, your real name." Iris rolled her eyes with a smirk.

"That _is_ my real name." B laughed, running a hand through his messy hair, noting the girl's expression "No, I'm serious. That's my name."  
"Whatever. Anyway, my friend Tiger should be here in a minute, you're welcome to hang around with us if you'd like." She said with a small smile.

"Sure, better than being bored all day. You seem interesting." B shrugged.

"Great, I'll give Tig a call and tell her to hurry up." With that, Iris pulled out a small, black and red, flip-up mobile, scrolled through her contacts and pressed 'Call' once she reached the name Tiger. Three rings later Tiger picked up.

"'Ello?"

"Hey Tig, it's Iris. Where are you?"  
"I'm in the toilets, some douche bag locked himself in a stall."  
B chuckled at this, remembering Matsuda.

"Who's there with you Iris? Is it a guy? Did you meet some one?"

"Oh, it's just B."  
"B?"  
"B."  
"Oookay... Well, you're at the railings as planned, right?"  
"Yeah."  
"'Kay, I'll be there in five."  
"See ya then."  
"Later."

"Bye."  
Iris hung up the phone, snapping it shut and putting it back in her pocket "You'll like Tig. Or not, it's normally one or the other. She's like Marmite, you either love her or hate her."

**Love it? Hate it? Either way, review it! :D**


	3. The FBI did it!

**Woooh! New chapter! I'm too good to you guys. :DD**

Some time later, Tiger arrived with a rather terrified Matsuda trailing behind her.

"He insisted that he had to come with me, to find his friend who he had lost. He's got the attitude of Matsuda down to pat." She grimaced.

Tiger was in full Mello cosplay, blonde bob, leather pants, black padded vest, feather rimmed coat, black gloves, a fake gun and a bar of chocolate. She was more freckled than her red-headed friend, obviously in the sun more and she had an American accent, opposed to Iris's English one. She was slightly taller than average and skinnier than most.  
"You're B, I take it." She glanced at the raven haired man, with a slight smile "Trust Iris to find some one cosplaying a serial killer!" Iris chuckled in response, grinning at her friend.  
"Yeah, but he seems cool. About as mad as me." She replied.

"That's for sure." 

"I'm not cosplaying. I wear this every day." B interjected with a smirk "Well, not every day, but you get what I mean."

"Yeah, and I'm the President of the United States." Tiger rolled her blue-green eyes, looking sarcastic.

"Leave off Tig, he takes cosplaying very seriously." B smirked at the two, it was no wonder they didn't belive him, they were at an Anime convention after all.

"Well, belive what you like, but I'm telling you, this is my normal attire."  
"And Tiger, apparently, his eyes are really red. Isn't that cool?" Iris said excitedly, looking like a hyper active Collie with slightly murderous intent.

"That is quite cool..." Tiger admitted begrudgingly, moving closer to B, so as to get a better look.

"Once you've finished gawking at my eyes, I have some people for you to meet. Yes Matsuda, we're going back to everyone else." B grinned, noting the young mans hopeful look.  
Matsuda lept from the floor, where he had been sitting for the last five minutes looking like a lost child.  
"Really B? We're going back? Wooh hoo!" With that he began to do a simple, yet very fast, dance. B pinched the bridge of his nose while Tiger and Iris exchanged worried glances.

Meanwhile, Matt and Mello had rejoined Light, L and Near on the ground floor and were discussing the current situation. The Death Note series had been explained to the by a couple of kindly Naruto cosplayers and they were up in arms.  
"Some one's been watching us. I knew it all along! I bet it's the FBI..." Said Matt, bitterly, having paused his game to join the conversation.

"Yeah, that's the only possibility. Though, it wouldn't be the FBI. It'd have to be some one with access to all our homes..." Mello added, looking thoughtful as all eyes, including his, turned on Light.

"Don't look at me. Why would I let them use my picture, exposing my self to the public eye, and go on to formulate a story in which I am a bad guy. It's no good for my perfect image." Light flipped his hair, attempting to look sexy and utterly failing when he headbutted a guy dressed and Pikachu. A collective sigh of exasperation came from the rest of the group as Light was, once again, punched in the face, only Near and L were silent.

At that moment, the worlds greatest detective spotted B, Matsuda and the two newcomers approaching the group.

"Hm... Beyond-kun and Matsuda seem to be returning. They have two girls with them. They look rather a lot like Matt and Mello." L mused, chewing his already shredded nail.

"What?" The fore-mentioned pair questioned, looking curiously at L.

"People are impersonating us now?" Mello asked, rather angrily, snapping a large piece off his chocolate bar with a growl.

"Imitation is the highest form of flattery." Iris grinned, trotting up to the ex-mafia boss and gamer.

"Plus we're cosplaying, and therefore not copying you two but the original, Matt and Mello." Tiger added with a satisfied smirk, also taking a bite from a large chocolate bar, held in her gloved hand.  
"I don't know who you think you are, but we're the originals. Case closed." Snapped Mello, glaring at the girls, who shared a mischievous glance and exchanged nods.

"Hm... If you're so original, how come '_Mello's'_ scar looks so fake?" Said Tiger with a sneer, making quotation marks in the air when she said Mello. Iris just stood about a foot from Matt, scrutinizing him thoroughly through narrowed eyes, head tilted slightly to the left, her hand resting on her chin.  
"Mello... I don't like the way that chick is lookin' at me. She has rape in her eyes..." Matt hissed in the blonde's ear, never taking his eyes off the staring girl, who had taken a step closer to the begoggled teen when a smile suddenly split her face.  
"Hey Tig, this guy looks like the real deal!" Iris exclaimed, not noticing Tiger was in a heated stare off with a very pissed off Mello. 

"You wouldn't know a scar if it hit you right between the eyes lady." Mello snarled and moved a little closer to Tiger, looming over her, though she just smirked at his efforts to intimidate her. B smirked, watching the face off as Tiger leaned in closer to Mello, so they were almost nose to nose.  
"Oh yeah, look at this then hun." Tiger lifted the rim of her shirt to expose a long line of pinched white flesh "Nicky Clarke straighteners, hottest you can get. Fell asleep on them when I was pissed." Mello scoffed pulling his shirt off all together to show the rest of his own scar, covering the whole left side of his chest, most of his abdomen and snaking down past the line of his pants.  
"Good enough for you _hun_?" He retorted, hands on bare hips, glaring down at Tiger "And belive me, it's as real as they come."  
"Point taken." Replied Tiger with a shrug, gawking at Mello's perfect abs, her hand unwittingly reaching out to caress them

"Well looky here, someone's sending out mixed messages. There's a time and a place..." Mello winked, grinning slyly.

"When and where?" Asked Tiger with a smirk. The tension in the air had changed dramaticly from angry to sexual. Iris just sighed and rolled her eyes in a 'this happens all the time...' kind of way.  
"Hm... Ten seconds in the back of Matt's VW?" Mello breathed huskily, licking his lips.  
"Not in the back of my baby! I don't want you staining the carpet, it cost a lot to fit you know!" Matt objected, crossing his arms in defiance, a slightly jelous look crossing his face for an instant.  
"Quit whining Mail." Mello glared at his supposed best friend, gripping Tiger's hand.  
"Tig, I think these guys are the real thing..." Iris repeated, mouth agape.

"No, it's impossible. They're from an anime... Just pictures on a page." Tiger murmered, looking at the floor.  
"No, they're it. The real thing. I'm sure of it. They're personalities are just right, the outfits are exact and they just seem... so... anime-ish."

Tiger nodded slightly.  
"They do seem oddly dedicated for your average cosplayers..." She mused "Yes, it all makes sense now. The naturally red eyes, the accents. I'm starting to believe you Iris..."  
Iris looked smug, crossing her skinny arms and looking pointedly at the supposed cast of Death Note.  
"I always knew they were to awesome not to be real..." She smirked.

Ten minutes of badgering later, Tiger, Iris and the rest of their new found gang, save for Matt, were squashed tightly into the back of the gamer's VW. Tiger was virtually sat in Mello's lap while Iris was sat on the floor beside B, who had be banised to the back along with L, her leg stretched out awkardly over his knees as Matsuda occupied the rest of the floor, sleeping, with Light sat atop his chest, being strangely quite, as though plotting. L and Near were sat either side of Mello and Tiger, L gnawing his thumb nail and Near twirling his hair through his pale fingers.

Matt sat in the drivers seat, clutching the wheel with white knuckles, occasionally looking in the rear-view mirror, only to see Tiger and Mello flirting shamelessly and pressing the accelorator a little harder each time he did so.

He was becoming jelous and he knew it, Mello had always been his and only his. Always. Now Tiger was on the scene, capturing the blonde's attention that had once been Matt's. It was as though Matt was a cat and his owner had just dared to get a puppy, the cat didn't normally give much attention to the owner or seek much in return, but once the owner's attention was gone he wanted it to be undevidedly his.

"Hey Matty, you look tense. Is something up?" Queried Mello, smiling at his best friend.

"I'm fine." Matt snapped back, glaring at the road ahead, he shoulders tensing more.

"You don't sound fine..." He pried, looking a little worried.

"Just go away Mello! Go away!" Matt shouted, swerving to avoid a rather terrified pedestrian.

"Fine! I just won't give a shit any more!" Mello countered, clenching his fists "What the fuck is your problem Matt? You were fine a minute ago!"

"Uh... guys...?" Iris chipped in looking nervous "Can we not do this on the road, I don't want to die a virgin..."

B grinned at this "That can soon be rectified..." He wispered in her ear, biting the lobe gently. Iris shivered and blushed a little, letting a small giggle escape her lips. Iris never giggled. Ever.

Mello just glared at the back of Matt's head as he glowered at the road, as though Mello's glare was traveling through his skull and out of his eye sockets, onto the road, as if trying to melt it with his stare.

Mello, paying no attention to Iris's statement what so ever, continued to rant at Matt, who, in retrospect, continued to press down on the accelorator.  
"I've always helped you out, we grew up together for fuck's sake! Why don't you trust me any more? You can't even tell me what's wrong! Well, you know what Mail," He used Matt's real name, as he only did when he was about to blow his top "I'm tired of you never telling me anything, I barely know a thing about my best friend and to think I almost- Gah!" He punched the side of the van, now standing up, making it lurch violently to the left.

Iris squealed and pulled B in close, a little scared of the irratic driving and the fact they were sat on the floor where things could fall on` them. B wrapped his arm around her slim waist, looking, for once, protective. In the ten minutes it had taken for Tiger and Mello to convinced Matt it was a good idea for her and Iris to come along, Iris and B had discovered they had a rather large amount of chemistry; They were both borderline masochists, both rather sadistic and psychotic yet still quite easy to like. And, B soon discovered, Iris was also unusually fond of jam. An instant bond was formed so their behavior in the van didn't seem at all odd to either of them, being the forward and uninhibited people they were.

"Mello, just fuck off, okay? I don't want to be interrogated by the likes of you." Matt stated coldly, clenching the wheel so tight Mello thought his fingers might snap off.

"Fine Matt. Blame me for caring." Mello slumped back down next to Tiger, who slung her arm around Mello's shoulders. He leaned into her, his face blank but his eyes bleary, as though he might cry. But obviously, a man once in the Mafia never cries.

"I've got something in my eye..." He muttered as Tiger opened her mouth to speak, wiping away a small droplet of salt water. Tiger, deciding she found this incredibly cute, let out a sort of 'Squee!' noise, and tackle-glomped Mello to the bed. His eyes went wide as he sailed backwards from the unexpected contact,his head landing with a poof of air on the slightly over stuffed matress.

"That was the cutest thing I have ever seen!" Tiger squealed, nuzzling Mello's neck in a very un-Tiger like fashion. Iris simply chuckled and gave a shake of her head, before resting it on B's shoulder. His arm was still around her waist as he began to trace a B on her hip, considering wether to carve the letter there later or leave the pale skin untarnished, some how asserting that she was his property. Not that she minded at all, she thought B to be incredbly sexy, having been infatuated with him when reading _'Death Note, another note; Los Angles BB murder cases.' _

She felt it was only fair that, if she was going to be obssessed with him, that he directed a small amount of possesiveness towards her. She guessed that even looking at Matt in the wrong way was not an option, B had killed people before after all.

**Love? Hate? Review either way! :L**


	4. Symmetry and twins

**Here's another chapter for you's guys. :D  
Do I love you or what?**

Matt, still attempting not to look in the rear-view mirror as to avoid the sight of Tiger and Mello making out quite feircely in the back, didn't see the battered camper van sailing up the raod behind them, beeping it's horn with a sense of disarray. Nor did he notice the fact said camper van was that belonging to one of their falt mates, A, who had his had stuck out the window of the van, was waving manicly at the VW in front.

"Hey, Matt, I think that guy in the beat up camper van is trying to get your attention..." Iris piped up, craning her neck to get a better from where she was sat.

Begrudgingly, Matt looked in the mirror, at last noticing the young man signaling for them to pull over in the next layby, which was conveniently only a few hundred yards away. Matt did this without hesitation, parking quickly and smoothly.

Mello, noticing the lack of movement, broke the kiss between he and Tiger to ask why they were stopping, this was answered by A flinging the back doors of the VW open with an energetic grin splitting his freckled face.

"Hi guys!" He chirped, with enough enthusiasm for all of them "I see we have some ladies with us, and pretty ones at that. I'm Alternative, but you can call me A!"  
Iris waved sheepishly at the boy, a little taken aback by his sunny personality.

His looks matched his happy demenor completely, his brown black hair styled to partially cover his right eye yet seeming as though he'd just woken up in the morning with his hair like that. His skin was lightly tanned, freckled across the bridge of his obviously once broken nose and dappled along his high cheek bones, seeming to make his yellow green eyes all the more striking. These eyes were rimmed with thick lashes, giving him a calf like apperence and not an unattractive one at that.

He was lean, built for sprinting, yet still had visible muscle tone under his tight grey T-shirt. He wore dark blue skinny jeans and battered black and red Vans, his socks clearly mismtched under them, one being florecent pink and the other canary yellow, clashing horribly. He was tall, not so tall as to tower over everyone, yet tall the same and his arms and legs looked too long for his skinny body. Over all, he had a sort of messy yet refined look about him, if you can imagine it, but you could see from his lithe movements that his long limbs did not make him awkward or gawky in the least.

"Er... Hi. I'm Tiger, this is Iris." Tiger said after a long moment of silence, gesturing to the British counterpart as she said her name.

"Oh wow! What unique names you both have!" He smile grew wider, if it was possible "Not that I can talk about unusual names. Heh."

"Hi." Iris added, looking a lot more comfortable now and grinning right back at A.

"Woah! B seems to have taken a shine to you Iris, that's definitely a first." He chuckled, smirking at Iris and B. His eyes lit up with every smile he gave, making him appear very honest and a little naive.

"Yeah, it's an instant chemistry sort of thing." Iris commented, getting to her feet and pulling B up with her, clasping his hand.

"As I can see. When did you meet?"

"About an hour ago." B chuckled at A's expression of shock.

"Only an hour ago,and you're on intimate terms?"

"Well, not totally intimate..." Iris smirked.

"Yet." B added with a grin.

"Oookay... I'm more than a little creeped out by that..." A backed up a little before he stumbled out of the back of the van and fell staright on to his ass, grabbing Iris's shirt and pulling her and B, who's hand she was holding, to the floor with him as he tumbled to the ground.  
A landed first, Iris ending up sprawled on her back across his chest with B stradling her hips.  
"Well... this is a little compromising for a lady, don't you agree Iris?" B purred, grinning down at her.

"Hm... maybe to some. But I'll take advantage of it..." With that, using B's weight against him Iris flipped him on to his back, hovering above him "I'm stronger than I look."  
"I can see that babe." B smiled, reaching up and tickling the girl's ribs. She squealed, losing her balance and falling down on top of B.  
"B, stop it!" She yelped, giggling all the while.  
"Make me..." He countered, tickling her more vigorously.  
"Uh... guys? Could you get off me now... can't... breath..." A chocked out, pushing at B's back in an attempt to make him move.  
"Oh, sorry A, honey, we were a little distracted..." Iris winked, beaming at B as she got to her feet, yanking him up with her and dusting her self off.

"No...problem." A gasped, getting up and moving to sit on the step to the van as to catch his breath. Quite suddenly, two identical ginger heads popped out of the two front windows of A's RV.  
"What's going-" One twin spoke up, looking puzzled at the sence before him as the other finished his sentance.  
"On here?" The second twin looked equally bewildered, before both their faces split in to mischeivios grins.  
"Is that new people I spy Kaoru?"  
"Why, it does seem that way doesn't it Hikaru?"  
"We should go and introduce ourselves, it's the host way." Hikaru smirked, reaching for the car door handle. His twin mirrored the gesture exacly.  
"YES! Perfectly symmetrical! I think I'm in love..." A voice errupted from inside the beat up car before a young man with black hair, three white stripes on the left side, and yellow eyes burst from it's interior "It's so perfect..." His nose was bleeding by this time and he looked like he was going to faint.  
Tiger and Iris excanged exatatic glances.

"Is that who I think it is?"  
"Must be, no one would have a fit like that over twins..." Iris bit her lip in eximent, grinning like a mad woman.  
"It's Death the freaking Kid!" They both yelled at the same time, launching them selves at the confused looking Shinigami.  
"Whaa..." The puzzled boy asked, feeling dazed. Tiger and Iris were both pinning him to the wall if the van with a mega hug from each side. Kid looked from one girl to the other, and back again, then at the twins, who were looking distinctly miffed, then back at the girls. Suddenly, Iris let go of Kid's right side.  
"Why am I hugging him when the world's sexiest pair of twins are standing in front of me?" She exclaimed, trotting giddilly towards the twins, who were looking much happier at this point.

"Why hello, fair lady." Said Kaoru with a grin.  
"Would you like to play a game?" His twin inquired, tilting Iris's chin up to look in to her eyes.

"Lets play..." They both began "the which one is Hikaru game!"  
"Ooooh! I'm good at this!" Iris grinned "Now, lets see... I think, you're Hikaru..." She pointed to the twin on the right "and you're Kaoru." She said, pointing to the other twin.  
Both boys looked stunned, their mouths agape.

"No one, ever, ever gets it right first time..." Kaoru murmered, staring, bewildered, at his twin, who simply shrugged with a confused smile.  
"I was correct, I take it." Iris said, beaming "Do I get a prize?"

**Reveiws would be greatly appreciated. o3o  
Due to the fact I am going up to see my dad is Yorkshire and cannot take my laptop, there will be no updates in the immidiate future. Stay tuned though!**


	5. Matt's confession

**Sorry it's so short guys but I've been really busy what with mu computer breaking, getting fixed, breaking again, getting a puppy, and finally the computer getting fixed again. xDD  
This hasn't been Beta read, heck, I've not even spell checked it, so ecxspect some mistakes, m'kay?  
Enjoy!**

Kaoru and Hikaru exchanged sly glances before nodding and each taking one of Iris's hands and pulling her towards them.  
"It'd be rude not to offer you a prize my darling." Hikaru murmered in her ear, smirking.  
"Ask anything, and you shall recieve."  
"Anything? Anything at all?" Iris asked, smiling deviously.

"Yes, anything at all." Kaoru smiled, his elbow resting comfortably on his brother's shoulder.

"Well then, I'd like you two to be my personal slaves for the day." The two twins looked at each other, considering. 

"Alright, we'll be your personal slaves for the _whole_ day." They both grinned.  
"My request is..." Iris pondered for a second "for you two to make some 'brotherly love'" She made quotaiton marks in the air when she said this "for my ammusement, and Tiger's of course." The twins looked at each other, eyebrows raised.  
"Alright, we'll-" Began Hikaru.  
"-do it for you..." Kaoru finished, pressing a hand against his brother's chest. Tiger and Iris smiled exitedly, Tiger still pinning Kid against the car.  
B stood behind Iris, looking pissed off, which is not a good thing for a serial killer to be, especially when he has a pen knife in his back pocket.

"Well, go on then..." Tiger said, a little impatiently though still grinning.  
Hikaru rolled his eyes and grabbed the back of Kaoru's head, pulling him down into an inpromptue kiss. Kaoru's eyes went wide, yet he did not pull away as his brother's tounge slid along his lower lip, pushing his mouth open. With Tiger and Iris's loud squealing, Mello decided to poke his head from the van to see what was occuring.  
"Wait, am I missing something? They're BROTHERS people! Incest much?" He said, a look of exasperation on his face.  
"Yeah, we know!" Iris and Tiger chorused in sync, both grinning from ear to ear.  
"You two are odd to say the least" Mello shook his head, blonde locks flying everywhere.  
"Well, no duh..." Said Iris, rolling her eyes "I fancy a serial killer and Tiger fancies you, of course we're weird!"  
Hikaru opened an eye when he noticed the girls were no longer paying attention, pulling away soon after, a trail of spit connected he and his brother.  
"Hey, what's the big idea! You can't just pull away right in the middle of a kiss!" Kaoru protested, glaring at his brother.

"Dude, they aren't even watching any more..." Said Hikaru, crossing his skinny arms and pouting. Kaoru rolled his eyes, also crossing his arms.  
"You're such and attention seeker..."  
"Am not!"  
"You so are...it's very annoying."  
Hikaru sniffed, wiping away a false tear "Fine... I won't bother you any more..."  
"Oh Hikaru... I didn't mean that... I could never live without you..." Kaoru murmered, reaching out and touching his brother's face lightly.  
"So. Damn. Adorable." Iris squealed, clapping her just stared, a sly grin spreading across her face.  
Mello face palmed.

- - - - - - -

Matt, still in the front was feeling quite degected and alone, no one was even bothering to talk to him. Awwww, poor Matty...  
Wait. When did I suddenly become a self-aware narrator? This wasn't supposed to happen! Oh god, the author is gonna kill me... wait, am I the author?

Man, this can't be good... well, I suppose we'd better carry on with the story anyway, don't want any more trouble than I'm already gonna' be in...  
So, Matt was sat in the front seat feeling lonely, therefore he decided to sulk. And whilst sulking, he had a thought: Maybe he didn't think of Mello as just a friend, maybe he wanted him to be more... maybe- no, he was being silly, of course he didn't think of Mello like that. The fact he got butterflies in his stomach whenever he saw his best friend was just a side-effect of the niccotine and constant gaming. He wasn't in love with him... was he?  
Gah! Inner turmoil sucked.

"You alright in there Matty?" Matt jumped at the sound of Mello's voice beside him, he had been so caught up in his own thoughts he hadn't noticed his blonde counter-part leaning though the open window.  
"Don't do that man! You almost gave me a fucking heart attack!"  
"I just wanted to say - I'm sorry, not just for earlier, but for all of it. Leaving you at Wammy's with no word for five years, for calling you up and dragging you here to live with me, for being a huge dick to you most of the time, for, well, everything... I'm sorry." Mello murmered, looking Matt straight in the eye, his seriousness evident.  
Those damn butterflies were back again, Matt could feel tears pickling at the corners of his eyes and a lump forming in his throat.  
"It's alr-right... appology accecpt-ted. You really don't know w-what this means to me..." He managed to choke out before flingning his arms around Mello, a small smile on his lips as the tears began to streak his face.  
"Hey, Matty, it's no big deal, really... A-are you crying?" Mello asked, pulling Matt back to look at his face.  
"N-no..."  
"Matty... why are you crying?"  
"It's nothing Mels I just- Nah, forget it..." Matt added, wiping his eyes and composing himself a little more.  
"You just what?"  
"I'm just feeling cofused about my feelings for some one right now..."  
"Who is it?" Mello questioned a cheeky grin splitting his face.  
"I-I'd rather not say..."  
"Oooooh! Matty's got a secret lov-er! Hahaha!" Mello chortled in a sing song voice, still grinning.  
Matt went bright red, infuriated "You really want to know Mello? Really wanna' know?" He glared at the blonde "Well, here's the truth, the complete and utter truth, I'm in love with you. It's always been you. I wasn't sure before but I am now, I am in love with you."  
Mello gaped, speechless.

**Ooooh, I'm so cruel, leaving you all with a cliffy. Well, you'll just have to wait until next week my dears. ;D**


	6. A new addition

**A/N: Yeah, short chapter is short... o.o**

"Y-you're kidding right...?" The ex-mafia boss questioned.  
"We're you not listening? I just poured my heart out to you and you think it's a joke? Some friend..." Matt growled bitterly, turning away to look straight ahead, tears prickling at the corners of his green eyes once more.  
"Matty, please... you know I don't mean it like that... it's just-I...it's a bit of a shock, you know...?" He began floundering, blush creeping across his normally pale cheeks. Matt closed his eyes to hold off the on-coming crying fit.  
"F-forget I ever said anything..." He whispered shakily, tears squeezing themselves from under his eyelids for the second time that day.  
"Please! Matt! Try to understand..." Mello begged, reaching out to place his hands on Matt's shoulders, only to have them shoved away by the now sobbing red head.  
"Don't touch me! Don't ever touch me!" 

- - - - - - -

Meanwhile, Drew Jonik-Chaos was riding along the motorway on her compact Sazuki motorbike, she was going at least sixty five miles an hour, deliberately pushing the sixty MPH speed limit. Her head phones where in under her flame red helmet, blasting Panic! At the Disco's album, Vices & irtues into her ears. If she had been listening to a different album she may have been too absorbed in the music to spot the two VW campers - one in in distinctly better condition than the other - pulled up in a layby, at least eleven people standing out side of them, more inside the cars. At first she ignored it and kept on driving, thinking it was a simple break down. That was untill she noticed one of the people had three, perfectly straight, white lines in his otherwise jet balack hair.

She had gone a little way past the vans by the time she saw this and made a wild screeching U-turn in accordance, leaving a trail of skid marks and the scent of burning rubber in her wake. She pulled up next to the group, breaking at speed so she was nearly thrown over the handle bars, and removed her helmet to reveal her short, bright red hair and blue eyes.  
"Are you who I think you are?" She beamed exitedly, a grin splitting her face as she pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose.  
"Well, that all depends on who you think we are..." Tiger said, raising an eyebrow and placing her hands on her hips.  
"Wait..." Iris added, squinting at the girl "Is that you Drew-drew?"  
Drew turned her head "No way is that you Iris!"  
"Yeah way!" She dashed over to Drew, pulling her into a huge hug "Man, I haven't seen you in... well, forever!"  
"I know right?" Drew grinned, pulling back "Now, the reason I stopped, are they...?"  
"Yup! Well, no, not the way you're thinking. They aren't cosplaying, they're the real deal."  
At this point, Drew fainted, landing face-first on the concrete.

"Is she okay?"  
"I'm not sure, I can see a little bit of blood, she might have a nosebleed..."  
"I don't know how to deal with nosebleeds!"  
"Squee! Why wasn't I told Crona was here?"  
"I-I don't know how to deal with being cuddled like that!"  
"Well, you'd better learn fast buddy." Iris snickered, snuggling into Crona's neck, because he's a boy godamnit! Sorry, I got a little worked up there...  
"Yeah, she won't be letting go any time soon." Tiger didn't bother to hide her smirk as she said this.

"W-wait... did I faint or something? 'Cause I wasn't laying with my face on the floor a minute ago..." Said Drew, coming round and pulling herself up onto ther elbows.

"Oh, good you're awake I was just-"  
"STOP!" Yelled Kid, interupting Iris "I see symmetry!" With that, Kid ran straight up to Drew, pulling her up and twisting her face from side to side, not seeing a single asymmetrical freckle, he began to examine the rest of her. He turned herto the side, she turned her backwards, he picked her up, he lifted her arms, he lefted her legs, he closely scrutinized her breasts and her ass. Drew looked slightly perplexed but didn't protest, she had seen enough Sou Eater to know this wasn't too abnormal.  
"Hmm..." Kid hummed, poking her left thigh with a probing finger. He still wasn't sure if she was symmetrical or not. He would have to do another full body check, just to make sure. He got off of his knees and began examining her face again.

Suddenly he spotted one tiny fault at the corner of her right eye. One tiny miniscule fault. A freckle.  
Kid's eye began to twitch.  
"...You're disgusting, disgusting, DISGUSTING!"  
"Well, you aren't so symmetrical y'self bucko!" Drew retorted.  
"Ooooh..." The whole crowd gasped in amazement at the low blow.

**A/N: Love it? Hate it? Either way, review it! o3o**


	7. Make up sex

**A/N: Yes, it's short. And yes, it's late. But to be honest, I've had no time to update what so ever. My sister was christened last week and we were preparing all thursday night and cleaning up every day after Sunday.  
So, yeah. I should be back on track next week. ^^**

Even Mori, Honey, Breif, Matsuda, Light, Near, L, Panty and Stocking poked their heads out of where ever the hell they were hiding to stare at Kid's stricken face.  
"Y-you're right... I'm asymmetrical garbage!" He sobbed, sinking to his knees with his head in his hands.  
"Aw shit... Kid, I didn't mean it... you're perfection embodied..." Said Drew, putting a comforting arm around his shoulders.  
"Y'mean really mean it?" Kid asked, doing a very accurate impression of Spirit's sparkly eyes.  
"Why would I lie, what would I gain?" She shook her head, grinning a little. Kid pondered this comment, stroking his pale chin.  
"Valid point but, on the other hand, what do you have to lose?"  
"A potential friend."  
Kid smiled slightly at this "Alright, appolgy accepted."  
"Phew, that's good to hear. As I always say, never get on the wrong side of a Shinigami" Drew said with a nod and a satisfied smirk. Kid grinned in a way anyone would swear was flirtatious.  
"That's a very good way to live, Shingami can be... dangerous."  
"I like danger..."  
"And I like cake!" Honey shouted, raising a knife and fork triumphantly into the air, a huge smile spilting his adorable face, only to he shused by a stern look from Mori.  
"Eat your ice cream Mitsukune..."  
"Okay Takeshi!" And with that, Honey seemingly face planted into a bowl of Ben & Jerry's.

"Well then, we shall get along quite splendidly. As long as you remember to fold the end of the toilet paper into a triangle."  
"Is that an invitation to come to your place?" Said Drew, a sly twinkle in her eyes.  
"Maybe it is, and maybe it isn't. We'll just have to see, won't we?" Kid retorted, smiling a cheeky kind of smile, that plainly said that, yes, it was an invitation and for Drew to please take it.  
"Another hint?"  
"Quite possibly."  
"Could you guys get on with it and fuck already?" Said Panty, filing her nails and looking bored.  
"NO!" Kid and Drew yelled in unison, identical expressions of rage plastered acoss their faces.  
"Fine. Geeze, it was only a fucking suggestion, no need to bite my head off." Panty muttered, glowerig at Matsuda as though it was all his fault when he glanced over. 

"Please help me... " Crona whispered pitifully when Kid turned around. He was being pinned roughly to the ground by a very angry B, Iris tugging on his arm.  
"Com'on B-kun, he didn't mean it. I realy wasn't expecting him to start liking it or kissing me. Anyways, it was only on my cheek..." She laughed nervously, still pulling at the cloth of B's shirt.  
"No one, I repeat, NO ONE, kisses my Iris other than me, be it on the cheek or anywhere else. Got that Pinky?" B snarled, Crona shrinking back so his head was pressed hard against the floor. He gulped, nodding vigorously.  
"Yes sir, absolutely!" He managed to squeak, between nods.  
Suddenly, to the suprise of everyone, Crona arched his back convulsively, a small black chibi figure emerging from between his shoulder blades and pushing the pinkette a good couple inches from the ground.  
"Man up and tell this guy who's boss girly boy! I'm not having anyone kocking you around, since I live in here too. You die, I die and all that."  
"Oh god, not this thing again." B sighed, exasperated. Crona blushed, obviously embarassed of Ragnarok "Look, Crona, I can see you've got the message and I seriously cannot deal with that little fuck biscuit, so I'm gonna' let you back up now." With that, B got to his feet, even offering a hand to help Crona up, Iris looking very releaved indeed.

Crona graciously accepted the hand, a tentative smile crossing his face but soon turning into a grimace when Ragnarok began beating him with a pair of round white fists.

"What are you doing? Hit him! Use bloody needles! Do something!" The black chibi yelled, still hitting the pinkette.  
"Ow! Quit it! Stop hitting me!

- - - - - - -

If any of the party had cared to take a gander around the front of Matt's VW they would see Mello with his tounge shoved inside the Matt's mouth, how this came about after their bitter argument is a complete mystery to me, dear reader, but that is what was happening.  
They do say 'make up sex' is the best kind of therapy.  
Matt had, by now, gotten out of the drivers seat and was pressed against the door, the wing mirror, jammed uncomforatbly under his arm. Not that he cared.  
He wouldn't have noticed if a giant white rabbit had dashed up and started bumming him vigorously on the floor. As long as Mello kept kissing him like that, nothing mattered.

Quite suddenly, Mello did a rather amazing thing with his hand (the one that was lingering around Matt's ass, naturally), causing the gamer to let out an impromtue squeal of extreme pleasure. What happened there after was of too adult a nature to dictate in the pages of this fan fiction, we wouldn't want to scar any of the young 'uns would we now?

**A/N: Haha! No pornz for joo! xDD  
R&R!**


	8. Assertive Alternative

**Oh gawsh, this is sooooooo late. I'm really sorry, I've just been so busy I haven't had a chance to update. Really, really sorry.**

- - - - - - -

A watched all the rest of the party quietly, some how having ended upon the roof of his van.  
"Guys!" He called, receiving no attention. He sighed, rolling his eyes "GUYS!" A screamed, silencing everyone including Matt and Mello who managed to get untangled, off the floor and dressed in about a minute before realising they were wearing each other's clothes rather than their own.

"So, we've been here what, two, three hours? We seriously need to leave soon before the cops arrest us for obstructing a public layby." He grinned his trade mark lopsided grin "And plus, I want to show these lovely ladies the warehouse."  
"Yeah, and show Iris my room." B said making everyone chuckle.

Iris smirked back "You're not opposed to me going to see Crona and the twin's rooms after, right...?" B just stared at her, looking pissed "I'll take that as a no then... Oh well, maybe some other time boys." She shrugged with a small smile.  
B stopped staring and wrapped his arm more tightly around her waist and leaning his head on her shoulder. He sighed a little, giving her a peck on the cheek.

"I wish you wouldn't say stuff like that, it makes me feel very inferior."  
"Oh, I'm just playing B-kun. You're the one for me." She smiled coyly, batting her eyelids.

"Oh gosh, get me a bucket..." Muttered Mello, still trying to yank Matt's vest off himself. How he got the thing on, he didn't know, it was so damn tight. But then again, Matt was a total twig, if he turned to the side you could barely see him. Now, that made Mello wonder how said red headgot it on.  
Tiger snickered, looking at Mello "I think it's kind of cute. Then again, I can see your more of a 'fuck and chuck' guy than a 'wine and dine' one."  
Mello glared at her but shrugged all the same.

Matt blinked a couple of times before he spoke."So does that mean you're going to chuck me now?"  
"Of course not Matty, you aren't just a one night stand y'know."  
"But how can I know that Mels? Hell, you only decided you liked me about an hour ago!"

"That was a sudden realisation of a love that had always been there." Mello retorted with a satisfied nod.  
"Yeah...riiiight..." Matt rolled his eyes, arms crossed and lips in a hard pout.  
Mello hesitated just a moment too long before replying "I swear on my life Matty, you're the one..."  
"Are you even gay, you were sucking face with Tiger just this morning!"  
"Of course I'm not gay, I'm bisexual. Duh Matt."  
"Well that puts the cherry on the sexual orientation cake..." Said A, jumping from the roof, stumbling in his landing but reganing balance quickly "And on that bombshell, WE ALL GET IN THE GODAMNED CAR!"  
Meekly, the others shuffled into their respective vans, everyone who got in Matt's periodically stood on Light's face, including Mello, who stamped extra hard for luck, even though he wasn't intending to sit in the back.

"I call shotgun!" He grinned, knocking Light in the head with his knee when he climed over the back of the front seat.  
"Ooooww..." Light moaned theatrically, laying down on the floor, Matsuda having moved a long while ago.  
Matt glared at Mello as he sat down, but gave no sound of protest. Mello smirked in a very self-satisfied way and cranking up the volume of the radio. 'Sex on Fire' by Kings of Leon was the track playing, which was quite ironic, considering the way Matt's ass was feeling a that very second.

**Love it? Hate it? Either way, review it!  
You'll get an extra long chapter next week. 3**


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